Oh for want of a good meter!

I have had the same little meter <--- to the left, for some time now, but the webservice seems to be scrambled.

I decided to update my word count (because working would be the wrong thing to do on New Year's Eve!) but it doesn't matter what I try, the site will not create an updated meter for me.

I diddled around (techy term for messed with the HTML code) and tried to update the numbers but didn't want to spend the time to figure out how to make the bar move.

Found the NaNo meter at... Language is a Virus and it is very nice, but it didn't much care for being centered in my side bar. I'll figure out how to fix that eventually (maybe) but for now, it will just have to be off center.. like me. This site also has some interesting NaNo Icons I want to investigate later.

I Googled word meters or word count meters, I don't remember which, and found this happy little group. I think Shelli may be using the picometer, the look familiar, and I believe it was her Bloggy I saw them on...

Then there is the progress meter (bottom of the same page) I just had to share. Looks like it has a built in cap at 50k, but it's kinda funny. Check out all this little potato guy's moods. I'm book-marking this little guy for next year's NaNo.

Wednesday: Wander, Wonder or Word Play

Welcome to the first Wednesday Edition of the for the New Year, Wander, Wonder or Word Play.

Wednesday's will be a day to wander around the web, wonder about this and that or play with words.

Today we're going to wonder what is the proper etiquette for a new (as yet unpublished) author. While that's an open question, and likely to be a wonder from time to time, let me be specific. Edit etiquette

I have been reading an book from one of the folks in my chapter, and I have found some things that make me scratch my head and re-read paragraphs to make sure things were comprehend correctly. I'm about 1/2 way thru the book and I've found two different items that have stopped my reading flow cold and I've had to read back a page, sometimes more, to address what seems like a glaring error. I don't know that it matters, but the book is an e-pub.

So my wonder is - should I ask the author about these things, or just let it go? I'm not more than an acquaintance with this author, but we've traded email on the group loop and she's an active member of our chapter even though she doesn't live in the area.

To tell or not to tell, that is the question. I already had planed to send a note when I have finished reading the book, but I also feel a responsibility to author to say something about what I've found. If this is really an error (at least one, yes) and if so, could a correction be made so other readers will not be stopped to wonder. I know I want to know, if it ever happens in one of my books. And them a question too, if the e-pub can be re-published (or uploaded, uploaded or whatever) with corrections if they are needed.

But would you want to know? Thanks for your comments on my wonder, I'll be sure to fill in the details when I have finished the book.

Christmas Cookie Recipe

This is my kind of cookie~~
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Crown Royal/Whiskey/Rum

- Sample theLiquor to check quality.
- Take a large bowl, check the Liquor again, to besure it is of the highestquality, pour one level cup and drink.
- Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
- Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again.
- At thispoint it's best to make sure the Liquor is still OK, try another cup...just in case.
- Turn off the mixer thingy.
- Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
- Pick the frigging fruit off floor...
- Mix on the turner.
- If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry i t loose with a dewscriver.
- Sample the Liquor to check for tonsisticity.
- Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.... who giveshz a sheet.
- Check the Liquor.- Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
- Add one table.
- Add a spoon of ar, or somefink.... whatever you canfind.
- Greash the oven.
- Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
- Don't forget to beat off the turner.
- Finally, throw the bowl through the window.
- Finish the bottle of Liquor.
- Make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

Cherry Mistmas

National Novel Writing Month or NaNaWriMo

Update: December sometime

I managed to finish the NaNo challenge, and mark can count myself as a winner..... YEAH!

My total word count was 50,523

Any bloggy thoughts I might have will have to wait until December 1st or 2nd.
All spare words MUST be used for my NaNoWriMo meter.

Check back later!

Meter Makes a Move - FINALLY!!!

FINALLY - I can move the meter on my current WIP above the 10k mark. YEAH!!

I've been adding a few words to the document here and there since the last report in early July, but nothing of any weight that was worth mentioning or updating the meter code.

Today I did a bunch of brain storming with Aura on her book and she's on her way to some very interesting twists and turns with her current WIP.

Then I kicked in on my own work, this weekend I've added an impressive (for me) 2,000+ or so words to my WIP.

10,084 / 85,000

(11.9%)

Madness, Mayhem, Minneapolis and Manuscript pages

Madness - Neeper fell off the bike a couple weeks back, broker her arm and had to have pins put in to hold the bones in place. It's tons of fun wrapping the arm and cast in a plastic bag so she can take a shower. She starts 6th grade this year, which means Junior High or Middle School in our district. Today Dub took her to orientation and picked up her schedule. It's going to be an iteresting year.

Mayhem - Seattle traffic, Airport Security and waiting in line. I missed a 7 AM flight to Minneapolis this morning, and waited on standby until finally being assigned a seat on 10:30 am fight. My own fault, yes, but security was wicked busy taking 55 minutes or more to move thru the line. BLICK. Next time I'm taking the shuttle - that way I KNOW I'll make it.

Minneapolis - I'm here in Little Apples for a few days, which means I might actually accompoish some bloggin' since my evenings will be mostly free. We shall see how it goes. There are supposed to be big nasty thunder storms this evening - and I'm not really looking forward to that. These storms could be filed under Madness or Mayhem - but we'll leave them here for now.

Manuscript Pages - for Aura that is.. calling you out girl. This young lady is supposed to be writing 90 minutes each day this week. I've already called Mario and left a message on his cell phone - and the house phone - to let him know you're supposed to be writing and that he needs to help you out by blocking the card sites. Ok, I didn't mention that yet, but it could come to that if there are not some serious page reports happening this week. I'll be working on mine when I can, and I'm setting myself a goal of 10,000 words for the week and holiday weekend, Lofty - yes, but it can be done. Are you up for it?

Later gators - I'm going to have drinks with a work buddy.

Vacation Post Part I

I have much to tell, and little time so I'm putting up a place holder for my Vacation post.

Dub, Neeper and cousin Chicken went for week of fun in the 'sometimes sun' on the Oregon Coast. I have oodles of snaps to post and a few tales to tell.

I'll be back to fill this in when I'm back in the Emerald City.


We departed from Seattle around 2 PM on Sunday and drove to Portland, OR. Along the way we found a traffic jam just south of Chehalis because of an accident in the north bound lanes, with all the lookie-loo rubber neckers.
Just after that back up broke up there was another one around Centrailia because of a water park they're building on the west side of I-5.

The picture on the left I found on the net is from a Texas Water Park, and the funnel on I-5 is yellow and red, but you can imagine the folks driving by very slowly to take a look. If I head that way again any time soon, I'll be sure to have the camera ready, but we decided that this will be a hazard from now on, just one more reason to drive that stretch of road at night.
Here's a different shot of the Tornado in Darien Lake.

We traveled SW from Portland thru McMinville out to Lincoln City. By the time we made it to where we could see the ocean, it was quite dark. We made it to the cabin at the Waldport KOA around 1 AM, and crashed for the night. It rained quite a bit that night, I was very happy to be in a cabin.

Monday was typical of Oregon Coast weather, it wasn't really rainy, just low flying clouds, almost foggy. Dub and I put up a wind break on the cabin deck so I could make breakfast. We are very proud of our shelter. It was so well protected from the wind that we could sit a styrofoam cup on the bench and even with all the wind whipp'n around it didn't blow away. We stayed around camp, recovering from the long drive but when we ventured out late in the afternoon we headed north a bit to the Devil's Punch Bowl. The tide was in, so we didn't make it to the tide pools, but DID manage to have a late lunch at MO's. Good food and fun.

Tuesday was glorious and we headed south on this day to Florence, to the sand dunes. With Neeper's brokern arm in a cast, we were concerned about sand, so we wrapped her up in a plastic bag like she was headed to the shower, but told her not to try swimming. I'd hoped the girls would be able to climb the big dune like my Bordar and I did when we were kids, but the area has been taken over by ORV (off road vehicle) traffic and we decided it just was not safe for them to try it. The tide was just starting in when we made it to the beach at south jetty #2. The girls and Dub played in the surf, digging for clams and picking up shells. It was very nice to be back in my old stomping grounds, on the ocean where the sound of the wind and waves is very soothing. We BBQ'd dogs that night and made s'mores. Everyone was bushed from climbing around in the sand that day and we all had a solid sleep.

I'll add a few more snaps when I figure out how to download the remaining pictures from the camera, and will post part II (and maybe III) in the next day or four.

Come Fuck Me Pump....

This gives a while new meaning to the "Come Fuck Me Pump" or maybe it's a pump with training wheels.

I like the concept and the proportions are pretty good. it's a little taller than your average truck, though - so you'd want to be careful taking it into a parking garage.

Ya have to wonder just how many pair of shoes you could fit in the trunk (if there is a trunk) or if that heel area is a back seat. Looks like you'd need goggles or a helmet with a face mask, since there is no wind screen. I think I wouldn't mind driving a few mines in this persons shoe!!

What have I done?

Today I had a wilde moment and did something crazy... something I've been puttin' off for YEARS. It's not that I didn't expect to make the commitment in the near future, but what was I thinking? I'm a dabbler, it's what I do, I play with words - and it's serious, but not so when it comes right down to it.

You're wondering what I'm babbling about - I know.. so am I !

Drum roll please..... pthrrrrrrr!

I've been part of a Marine Corps Family Support group since late last year, and this morning I accepted a position with that group to help moderate the myMarine Yahoo! group content. My Marine (son) is currently stationed at Camp Pendleton in California, but I remember what it was like right after he left for boot camp in August of 2006. There was SO MUCH I didn't know about boot camp, the Crops and what to expect that it nearly drove me crazy. (hush you!!)

Being a part of this group has been fun, interesting and a helpful way for me to cope with his pending deployment and to help others as they begin the journey with their recruit as they train and are accepted as Marines. But that wasn't all .. oh no...

... this afternoon, I faxed my application to RWA, yes, this afternoon. You now.. RWA as in Romance Writes of America. Yeah, that organization. I'm excited and terrified at the same time.

Why? Let me count the ways... (and in no particular order)

• First, there's the membership fees. Not that I can't afford it, but I'm sure there is another application for those funds.
• Then, that makes it official. It's like the start of clock - the first official step on the road to be published. YIKE!
• And then, then that means (if only in my mind) that I need to start taking my writing seriously. Which translates (again, in my mind only) to, it's work.

Anyone reading this, rolling their eyes and/or shaking their heads - get over it - it's the way I feel, rational or not, there it is. I'm sure there are others who TOTALLY understand where I'm coming from, and I thank you in advance for your support and words of wisdom.

Then as if all that has gone before was not crazy enough, I marched (ok, clicked) myself over to the GSRWA website, as in Greater Seattle Chapter of Romance Writers of America, and proceeded to submit my application to that group as well.

I know, it's nutzy! My real life jobs, both corporate and domestic, are fucking crazy right now and it's like I've added more nails to my coffin. Well, not so much so, but here's what I'm thinking.

I'm not getting any younger, well ok, that's a given.. but no, not that. I work too much, at work stuff. So IF there are other things besides housework, bills and the four letter W.O.R.K. that I have a responsibility to do then perhaps it will balance out.

And what more responsibility is there than something you've paid money for the privilege to be a part of, really? And I need to make time for my writing, I want to do it, I have voices in my head that sometimes distract me from the W.O.R.K. which is frustrating and counter productive. So what it boils down to is accountability. Being a part of these organizations I hope will level out the effort for the fun work of writing and the W.O.R.K. of earning a living and being part of a family.

That is all the brain dump I have for now... thank you for listening, thank you for your support and thanks for all the fish.

And how much intel?

I often wonder as I'm writing, do they really need to know this? Why is it important?

The scene I'm working on is important, and I guess the thing I have to ask is.. will the book make sense without it?

Maybe, but it would take more explaining later.

AH... I'll leave it in there now but it's not exactly my strongest work.

G'nite all!

6,709 / 85,000

(7.9%)

Words seem to flow like water, now!

In the morning, I finished one of the four books I've been reading. I found an advance reader copy of Cherry Adair's White Heat on eBay and couldn't resist. I've never seen one before and was thrilled to be able to read the book before it came out. I have had the hard back on pre-order for a long time, and expect to re-read it before the conference in October.

I worked some, answered a few emails and was going to work on a form but became distracted by my email and ended up surfing the web a bit then I just sat at the PC for several hours yesterday, working on nothing in particular.

I wanted to write, but the words didn't seem to want to come. I talked with Dub about my inability and his words of encouragement prompted a Q & A session with my hero.

At first he was not very forthcoming, but then the answers started to flow. After that, I started working on Chapter 2 and it was after 11pm when I came up for air. One and a half scenes, 1,638 words later I had to call it quits for the night. I'm sure it will need a good polishing, it always does, but the point is the words did flow - finally. I'm headed back to the waterfall to see what else comes out.

6,200 / 85,000
7.3 %

Lazy Weekend - sorta..

I feel a little bit guilty for not writing this weekend, but then I didn't work either. Neeper spent the weekend with Aura and Mario so we had the house to ourselves all weekend. Seems like she had a good time with A-button and B-button (Mario's Twins - to be renamed later, maybe), but I asked that the computer time be limited, and I'm not sure that was enforced. Out of my control, water under the bridge .. moving on.

I spent most of my time sewing a pair of PJ's for Neeper. It's been a long time, and I was feeling the need to be crafty. Dub worked on Saturday, so I spent some time with George, Brad and Matt (and the rest of the Ocean 11 & 12 crew) while I was cutting, pinning and stitching.

The PJ's are a custom 2 piece job with a longer than usual shirt and shorter than expected (capri length) pants. I intended the shirt to be long, sleep shirt length, so it could be worn on it's own or with the bottoms - and that works pretty well. I didn't want to fuss with buttons or snaps, so I stitched the front together and called it done. It looks a little bit like a Kimono, but she likes them - so all is good. I have muchos more fabric to work on, but this time I'll take measurements before I start cutting. ~ grins ~

I did a little laundry and other chores while I was at it, but mostly me and the cats!

I'm amazed, actually, that I felt much like doing anything. Friday night, after dropping off the Neeper in Seattle with Aura - I picked up Dub and we went to our favorite local watering hole. No wait, I met him downtown, I had a couple Jack/Coke combos while I waited for him to be off work. THEN we went to our favorite local watering hole and Zach was a nice bartender and gave me TALL Jack/Coke combos while we played video games and waited for our dinner. Bar Burgers at the BEST!! Several Jack/Coke combos later, Dub drove me home and I poured myself into our lovely (almost 45 days old) king size bed! AH... and I was out! This was early, actually, around 10:30 or so if I recall correctly.

I tried to watch TV, but I was exhausted and so J/C'd that it didn't pay to stay awake. Dub was in bed a little while later cause he had to work the next day. AH.. what a wild life.

Sunday, not much doing. I whipped the PJ pants together in morning but I needed to measure for the elastic. (oops) It was rainy off and on, and I cat-napped in the office in between chores but that's as close as I was to the computer all weekend.

Monday was total craziness again, and today has been just as weird. I guess I COULD have taken advantage of no interruptions and put some more words on the but it was damn nice doing must what I wanted.

This will not help me finish the MS on time, but.. WILL help me keep what little sanity I have left.

More words on the morrow!

Happy "D" Day to Me!

Today is the one year Anniversary of my Liberation... that is, the day my divorce became final!

It seems like so much longer, but only 365 days have passed. I imagine the length of time from initial filing to signing has something to do with that, but I was shocked yesterday when I realized today was the day.

I'm not sure what I'll do to celebrate, perhaps this weekend I'll do something wicked, but for now - I'll just sing a little song!

Happy "D-day" to me!

Happy "D-day" to me!

Happily Divorced and now I'm a Dragon Day!!

Happy "D-day"

tooooooo mmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Thank you. Thank you, very much. I'll be here all week! ~ Grins ~

Why I find time only on Sunday

It seems like I can only seem to write on Sunday, and I'm not sure why that is.

Sure, there is time during the week, but I guess I don't use it as well as I should.

There is dinner, shopping, laundry, homework, dishes, pets, bills... pick one.. not to mention the boob tube. And I'm working on a waking program with my Aunt to help motivate her to move more.

Every other week I spend time with the ladies of my family yacking about this and that.

Saturday's there are often things to do like driving to Everett for a book signing *waves to Pat, Anne, Yasmine and Alexis* and then finding you can't drive your way out of the Everett Mall area without checking the map. It took twice as long to make it home as it should.. I was very turned around, and there was not sun that day. (I couldn't tell my south from east with the sun behind the clouds.)

So today my Ex Roomie called and said she needed some motivation and would I be up for some timed writing. SURE!! After I finish with Capt'n Jack Sparrow, sez I.

We kicked in a little later, and between the research and general goofing around, I managed to put over 1,000 words in the computer today - and that wasn't even editing what was already there! YEAH!!

So Sunday is the day, but if that's the case I'm going to have to put more than 1,000 words per day.

I'm glad the meter moved today, I'll take the progress I can make, and be happy with it for now.

How'd you do today?

4,509 / 85,000

(5.3%)

Stoopid Meter...

won't move if you don't write.

Turns out I didn't add any words, or even take more away last night. I was annoyed, but then I remembered I'm a part time writer - so I wasn't too hard on myself (this time).

And so... it begins!

Today I will start what I hope is the first of many books that will actually be published. At the moment, I have a 4 book series that will not leave me be - so it's time to start them.

I'll find a progress meter after I have a few more letters on the page.

Not your average name TAG!!

Shelli tagged Aura, and Aura tagged me to write about my random facts and habits.

Here are the rules:
1. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
2. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
3. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Here goes:

1. My cats eat plants, so I don't have any in the house.
2. I have a pool table in my living room, and a TV in my dining room
3. I buy books without reading the blurb on the back because I like the cover or title.
4. I have lots of hand written notes, but nothing typed on my book - YET
5. I would rather buy new tools than new clothes
6. My garage is full of stuff I really don't need but can't part with just yet
7. As a rule, I don't like me-me posts
8. is my favoite number


Since one must tag.. I will tag the following:







Sadly, I can think of noone who would respond to the tag... (that have not been tagged already). So I choose to end the game here.

Sex-Ed in 5th Grade?

Not exactly a post for guys - but maybe....

You've been warned.

I'm sure there are many good reasons for including Sex-Ed in the 5th grade curriculum these days... I was just not at all prepared for it. Neeper came home this week with MANY questions about how the female body works. The school sent the kids home with a pamphlet about how their bodies would be changing in the next couple years and what to expect.

Neeper is SO excited to have her period... she just can't wait to be a 'young woman'. I keep trying to tell her she should enjoy the fact that she doesn't have to deal with that mess yet, and she'll very much want to be rid of it once it arrives. She says innocently enough "But you loose your period when you start menopause, right?" this makes me laugh, and then cry... cause I know it's not true, which I've informed her a couple times.

With the lovely little pamphlet are three different sizes of feminine pads from panty liners to an overnight pad. I went to the grocery store Thursday, the day the packet came home, and when I returned, it appeared Neeper was chasing Dub around the house with one of these pads still in it's pretty pink package. I don't think I was gone more than 45 minutes, but I cannot properly describe the look of relief on his face when I came thru the door. Neeper started chatting with me then, and tried to include Dub in the conversation but he tossed up his hands and said he was "Done talking about female stuff!"

It's funny, Dub will talk about almost anything with Neeper, sometimes in too much detail for her age (It's my opinion that there are some things kids don't need to know until they are older) yet he didn't want to talk with her about the nature of the female body. *giggles* I'll give him crap about that later, especially as she grows up.

Friday, I was taking a little nap in the afternoon when Neeper brought the pamphlet to me with 12 foot tape measure from the garage in hand and announced, "I don't get it!" and pointed to the instructions for measuring to find your bra size.

It seems there is a formula that goes something like :
1) Measure around your chest, just below the breasts.
2) Add 5 inches if it's an odd number; add 4 inches if it's an even number. This is your bra measurement. (Not sure why, I'm just going with what it says...)
3) To find out what cup size is needed, measure around the fullest part of your breasts.

It goes on to say the difference in the first number and second number will tell you what your cup size is:
AA - if numbers are the same
A - if 1 inch difference
B - if 2 inch difference
C - D more than any 5th grader should have unless they've been held back for several years.

Number 3 is what was confusing Neeper. See, those of us wearing more than an A cup these days know that this measurement is done around the chest, across the fullest part of the breast.. how far do the girls stick out, in other words. Neeper was thinking that she needed to measure around the beast area, only there's not much there so she's having a hard time coming up with a number. Not sure these yo-yo's who wrote the booklet kid tested it before taking it to press.

But reading it again, it doesn't tell you that you need the difference between the first measurement (before adding extra inches) so could be additional confusion when if you add 5 inches to 27, but your measurement around the breasts is 28, then how does that work exactly - the poor kid would end up in a DD cup .. talk about disproportionate! Anyway, measuring Neeper's way - she was coming with a much bigger number difference than she should.

It was very hard to hold in the giggles, but we managed to have a serious conversation and determined that at the moment she'd be an AA cup. Now we need to go bra shopping. UGH!

Whew... one down... many more to go...

From the dusty OLD email file ~ dated 10/21/2002

I was messing around in an old email program, looking for .. something. I found this email, and figured I'd share - someone could use a laugh.

I hope you enjoy this as much as I did. (again)

If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome including toilet-flush burialsf or dead goldfish, the story below willhave you laughing out LOUD!

Overview: I had to take my son's hamster to the vet.
Here's what happened: Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was"something wrong" with one of the two hamsters he holds prisoner in his room.

"He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious, Dad. Can you help?"

I put my best hamster-healer statement on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little rodents was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do.

"Honey," I called, "come look at the hamster!"

"Oh, my gosh," my wife diagnosed after a minute. "She's having babies."

"What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!"

I was equally outraged. "Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I accused my wife.

"Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage,?" she inquired.(I actually think she said this sarcastically!)

"No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her, (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth together).

"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.

"Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, ya know," she informed me. (Again with the sarcasm, ya think?)

By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it.

"Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience," I announced. "We're about to witnessthe miracle of birth."

"OH, Gross!", they shrieked.

"Well, isn't THAT just Great!; what are we going to do with a litter of tiny little hamster babies?" my wife wanted to know. (I really do think she was being snotty here, too. don't you?)

We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later.

"We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted.

"It's breech," my wife whispered, horrified.

"Do something, Dad!" my son urged.

"Okay, okay." Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gingerly tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results.

"Should I call 911?" my eldest daughter wanted to know. "Maybe they could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?)

"Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly.

We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap. "Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged."I don't think hamsters do Lamaze," his mother noted to him. (Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb, for God's sake.)

The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass.

"What do you think, Doc, a c-section?" I suggested scientifically.

"Oh, very interesting," he murmured."Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?"I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.

"Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked.

"Oh, perfectly," the vet assured us. "This hamster is not in labor. Infact, that isn't EVER going to happen... Ernie is a boy."

"What!?"

"You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um.... er.... masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back." He blushed, glancing at my wife. "Well, you know what I'm saying, Mr. Cameron."

We were silent, absorbing this.

"So Ernie's just...just...Excited?", my wife offered.

"Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood.

More silence.Then my viscous, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly.

"What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness.

Tears were now running down her face."It's just...that...I'm picturing you pulling on its...its...teeny little..." she gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.

"That's enough," I warned.

We thanked the Veterinarian and hurriedly bundled the hamsters and our son back into the car. He was glad everything was going to be okay.

"I know Ernie's really thankful for what you've done, Dad," he told me.

"Oh, you have NO idea," my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.

Cat Electric...

One of my cats, Duz, has found a hole in the top of my computer monitor. All the cats like to sit on the monitor where it's warm, but Duz has decided it would be fun to dig round inside to see what treasures might be hidden in there.

When the monitor is turned off, which was most of the time until recently, I didn't think it was a huge issue - though I discouraged it when I was around to see.

This afternoon, I've had the monitor on and several times I've had to 'remove the Duz' from the warm spot because of his treasure hunting. I'm afraid he's going to find something to connect a claw with and will be jolted off the desk - not to mention short out the display.

I'd love to have a flat screen, and appreciate the Duz for his willingness to help with that, but can't afford the trip to the vet that would certainly follow.

Renovations in progress!

I've been working on my template, making some tweaks here and there - making it custom!

Please excuse the dust while we're working.

Thanks!

Who writes this stuff?

This evening I pulled a bag-o-frozen-pasta-dish from my freezer to use a a base for my mostly home-made dinner. This dish is a Bertolli Chicken Parmigiana & Penne Complete Skillet Meal for Four.

It's been a little while since I've used bag-o-frozen-pasta-dish so I read the instructions to make sure I didn't need to add water or something like that. I'm sure I've read the instructions in the past, but maybe I didn't read them all....

STOVETOP PREPARATION

~RECOMMENDED~

READY IN

15

MINUTES

1. Pour contents of bag into 12-inch nonstick skillet.
2. Cover and cook over medium-high heat 15 minutes or until pasta and sauce are piping hot, stirring occasionally. Toss and serve.

Now, I was ok with the piping hot instructions, but almost lost it with toss and serve. Maybe this is because deep on the dark corners of my mind I remember I like to play volleyball. When playing volleyball, one must know how to Set, Hit, Spike and the all important SERVE. There are two ways to serve in volleyball.. one is an underhanded lob that can arch or float over the net and drop with painful precision when the other team is not expecting the floaty serve. This is not the I deliver my volleyball serve. I toss the ball into the air and hit it for all it's worth.

Toss and Serve!

The hot PASTA? What a mess. I laughed out loud and had to read the instructions to Dub. He said that would be kinda messy, and you'd probably achieve more distance if a tennis racket was used. This had me laughing harder.

I understand the need for brief clear instructions, but I'm wondering if in this huge package, they could have found space for another word or three. And it's funny, the microwave instructions to not guide you to toss then serve, but stir before serving. Will the serve police come arrest me if I don't toss before I serve?

Going now, to stir, not sure I'll toss, before I serve.

The Mother of all excuses for not writing this weekend.. pun in tended.

It's been a little while - things have been hectic and nearly non-stop both at home and at work.

On the home front, Aura moved in with her man - we will call him "Mario" for now. Mario sold his condo in Everett, and bot a house in Marysville - which is still a long long way from the community where I reside at the southern end of Lake Washington. We helped move most of Aura's stuff out then in two weeks ago. I don't think any of us knew how much "STUFF" she'd accumulated over the 4 years she's been here. And I'm not even talking about the 6 boxes of unread books (probably more like 8 all told) that were packed and moved. When we were done, there was an empty wall in the pool room (I have a pool table in my living room), a blank spot in the TV room (so then the TV is in the dining room), and the Master bedroom was now empty (I gave it up to her when she moved from Florida, so she could lock herself in her room to work on her book if it was necessary, but so there wouldn't be puddles on the floor. ~ Well, that's my story and I'm sticking to it! ~)

We cleaned away the accumulated dust and cat hair then re-arranged the furniture in the front two rooms while we decided what to do with the Master bedroom. I have plans to make it an office space or den, somewhere I can go to work from home or where I can write. Neepers computer is in the pool room at the moment, so we've also talked about putting her computer in the office.

Then, all hell broke loose with one phone call on Friday evening ..... Yeah, Friday, April 13th! Buffy called and said that she'd bot a ticket to come home (to stay) and would be arriving on Sunday, April 22nd, and would that be ok Mom? STUNNED. I did my best to contain my shock while we were on the phone and then after we hung up, I sat on the couch for several minutes watching my office plans melt into nothing.

See, when PFC left for boot camp in August 06, he didn't pack his all his stuff, so his room has been mostly untouched (and unusable) since his departure. Sure, he comes home every chance he can, and uses the mess as his base of operations, but there is no way anyone else could use that space... for anything. Before Buffy left for Florida in October 06, we had planned to pack up the rest of the PFC stuff and use his room as the new Neeper space. Having a 10 year old in your room tends to CRAMP your style when you're a social diva like Buffy. So when Buffy left, we allowed Neeper to keep the 'girl' room, and left the PFC mess as it was, as I had a hard time going in there without thinking about how empty the house was and how much I missed my kids. Of course, this was all when we still had Aura in the Master bedroom. Are you following?

SO, this weekend, we decided with Buffy returning we should go with the initial plan and clean out the PFC room (move his desk, bed, TV and bookshelf) into the Master/Office/Den/Guest Room and make the switch to from PFC Mess to Nice and Neat for Neeper. PFC can stay in the guest room when he's home, and when he's not around, it can still be an office or den.

MANY boxes of DVD, VHS, game systems (I think I counted 6 consoles), books, computer CRAP and electronic gizmos later we can see the floor, but the desk(with 2 computers) and bed still need to be moved. Oh, and the posters - the rooms walls are covered with Anime posters. We're going to prep and paint (maybe Tuesday or Wednesday) then look for a new bed and dresser for Neeper to start her bedroom transformation.

So, being a Mom is my excuse for not writing this weekend.

Buffy ~ Mom can I come back home and go to school, I didn't believe you when you said it's tough out here in the real world.
PFC ~ Mom, can you store my stuff for me while I'm in the Marines?

One of these days, I'll be able to start actually writing my book... instead of thinking about it while I'm supposed to be working.

Fun with fonts....

Some of the most awesome fonts don't come standard with your computer. Sure, there are many to choose from - but there are loads of others out there.

I was looking for a specific font for a project at work, and figured I'd have to purchase it in order to create the graphics I needed. The price range for the set I was looking at was $24-$105 dollars depending on the website.

While searching the interwebs, if found this font site that allows you to test fonts before you purchase them. Not only that, but you can change colors during the test and actually save the test sample as a bit map file.

Like I mentioned before, there loads of fonts out there we never have a chance to use - above is my name, in a graphic font called Gargoonies... and there are many others to choose from. In the search or font finder option, type in anything, I tried "fun" and "goon", you'll be amazed with the different styles and options. Then click on the title of the font and select the option to create a sample. I found that it was necessary to put the cursor in the font size box, then enter before changes would be applied to the sample window below.

Just think of all the fun you can have making your own buttons and graphics. If you post something, come back and let me know!

I just can't see where it's right...

I'll probably see a lot of flack for this post, but I don't really care, there are not that many folks that blog hop here anyway, and what the hell, it's my damn blog!

I loathe the Simpsons! Well to be truthful, I don't like many (read: NONE AT ALL) of the 1/2 situation comedies - Friends, Seinfeld, Everybody Hates Ramon - name one - and I'm sure I've tried it and failed to like it. In fact most, I can't even watch 10 minutes of before I'm searching for Discovery or the History Channel or something with claws and teeth!!

Neeper used to watch the Simpsons with her grandfather when he was alive. It was something that they did. I'm sure they talked about the shows, he was a very loving man and there is a very big hole in her life now that he's passed, but I still don't think it's something she or any child should be exposed to under the age of 15. Keep in mind Neeper also saw the Exorcist at age 5, and more than once, because the "adults" she was living with didn't see fit to wait until she was sleeping or even send her out of the room while the watched that nastiness!!!

Why, many ask, don't I like the show? Well... it puts a very bad, bad, bad (did I mention BAD) light on family life, and community. Of the shows I can remember, the kid or the father is always trying to get away with something (typical sit-com plot peeve by the way) and while they most likely don't... the fact that they even tried, sends the wrong message to children. So maybe you had a good childhood and nice family up bringing. You lived in an ok neighborhood and you find the stoopidness of it all funny. Fine.

But what if you didn't have a wonderful family life, and the best neighborhood to grow up in. What if the boob-tube was your baby sitter, and the Simpsons are where you learned your family values. GAG. ME!!

I didn't allow my kids to watch that crap when they were growing up, and I think they had a pretty ok up bringing. So I will not allow Neeper to watch the show, unless her dad watches it with her... and ... he didn't want to last night. So she cried about it. And then we argued about it... and feelings were hurt. It's a dumb damn TV Show, and I will not back down on this.

What is it about the situation comedy that I find so distasteful? It could not be the 'it's really stoopid but I'm going to do it anyway and see if I can pull it off' turkey on my head type of images that were relentless during sweeps. And who the hell cares who was the father of the baby? Give me sex in the bible any day, at least the fiction was original, not baked up crumbs from some other show.

I think I could go on and on and on - cause next I'd pick on un-reality shows - but I think I've ranted enough for tonight. Feel free to leave your comments - and unless they're full of stuff that is totally off topic, I'm sure I'll let them remain.

Ah... that feels better!

Actors in a action.....

Not as recognizable as the pink ribbon, but it will be!!

During the Golden Globe awards tonight I saw several of the actors wearing a blue puzzle pin on their black tuxedos. I had no idea what this little pin symbolized, so of course, I had to look it up.

This little pin is from Autism Gear and some of the proceeds from the sale of the items on this site are used to support The Autism Society of America. I've never seen this little pin, but it made me look it up, so I figured I share.

Check it out!!