Christmas, the empty nest version...

My nest is not empty, not really - but it feels that way.

I have mentioned that this year my son (PFC) joined the Marines, and my daughter (Buffy) moved to Florida to go to school. I have Dub, Neeper and Roomie living in house with me - along with 9 cats - so you see, the nest is not really empty.

PFC has been home since the 22nd, and will be headed to the midwest in early January for MOS training - but he has not been home much.

Christmas Day was really though for me, it was just all wrong. Showers took too long, the Fudge was not packaged and I was missing Buffy something dreadful. I took Neeper to Da'Rents (my parents house) for breakfast, but had to go back and pick up Dub cause the hot water was lacking after 2 had showered. (Neeper doesn't know the meaning of 'quick' in the shower)

Da'Rents house seemed REALLY empty. Brodar (my brother) was not around (yet), Mom was bustling around in the kitchen and Roomie and her guy (does he have a name yet?) were helping with vittles. PFC was sitting in the living room with his PSP, but I felt the hole.. the missing thing.. Buffy was not there. It made me cry, and just re-living it the tears are flowing again.

Some would say, that 'at least you had one of your kids there for the holidays' and that is true... but I really miss Buffy. I worry that she's not sleeping enough, or eating right. I didn't plan for her to be GONE so I didn't have the funds saved go pay for her to come home for Christmas. Next year, I hope will be better with that.

I'm not sure why I was dragging my feet when it was time to return to Da'Rents after Dub was ready to go, it just felt so wrong. When we arrived, the breakfast dishes had been cleared and folks had already started opening gifts. (Thanks for waiting people!) There was a flurry of activity as gifts were opened and for a while I was distracted. There were lots of ooh's and aah's, many nice things were gifted and some odd things too.

Roomie and her guy (I'll have to come up with something for him, I'm just not sure yet!) left for his family do. I had a short phone conversation with Buffy while she waited for others to 'wake up' or 'come home' so they could have their meal. Buffy and her crew didn't have anywhere to go for a Christmas dinner, so I'd ordered sammies, veggies and deviled eggs for them from Albertsons. Who knew grocery stores in Florida didn't do ham or turkey dinners for Christmas, or maybe it was that you had to order them more than 4 days ahead of time.

I mixed up some eggnog with brandy, then Mom, PFC and I started a game of rummy while Neeper talked with Valkyrie and Mr. Peabody on the phone. About 3 hands in, my head pounded so bad I needed a nap. Not sure if it was the brandy, stuffy sinus or stress, but the head won.

Buffy and her crew called and woke me from my slumber some time later, to thank me for the yummies I'd ordered. It was nice to talk with them, and some of the sorrow I had about Buffy's holiday lifted. She was having a good time, with folks she liked, and she was safe.

I'm still teary about it, even now.. though I'm sure it has something to do with the approaching new year celebration and PFC's departure soon after. I suspect it will be better in the years to come, but I'm not looking forward to my kids (that are not kids any more) having lives of their own where they are not able to be with me during the holidays. Is that selfish.. you bet, but I won't apologize for it. I love my kids, enjoy spending time with them, am proud of the adults the have worked to become and I miss them bunches when they are gone.